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11/14/2013

On how to stress people at work

Dear Roses and Lilies,

I am going to venture outside my comfort zone on this one, but I still hope you will like it. And, of course, I mean to teach you something as well.

When getting a new job and for the first few weeks - or months in some cases - everything is either a blur or rosy and cozy. It depends on how everyone responds to new challenges.

But, after the blur or the rosy clouds, come all sorts of revelations. It's when the truth bites you in the 'arse'.

As you may well know, there are several differences between being 'just' an employee and being a boss. What we all have in common is stress at work.

And stress is the one pesky thing that pops up no matter what one does to avoid it. Keep reading on if you aren't bored yet......... ;-)

The most important things to do when you want to stress someone out are the following:

A. Give them as many tasks as you can get your hands on - the more, the better
B. Set really tight deadlines on all tasks - say things like "I need this done within an hour" - especially on assignments that need thoroughness and time
C. Start off being ambitious and competitive, then dramatically decrease your productivity just to sabotage your team's or your own performance
D. Be gloomy or irritated and spoil everyone's mood for at least a week every month
E. Congratulate one employee in front of everyone else, then start pointing fingers at those who accomplished less
F. Brag about your special relationship with your boss and make everyone else feel like they're worth nothing
G. If anyone comes to you with an idea, give that person the impression that it's the worst ever, then bring it up in the next staff meeting and take credit for it
H. If, at any point, you are informed that your employees are not happy about something, find the one who complains most, then make an example out of that person and fire him/her... or fire 2 or 3 at the same time - that way everyone else will keep quiet
I. Undermine your boss's authority every time you get a chance to - you'll get noticed sooner
J. Give out orders, then change them - it's how you can create more confusion or even despair
K. Always go to work late and leave early
L. Threaten everybody with firing every once in a while - you'll surely "trim the fat" that way
M. Answer all important questions as evasively as possible or confuse everyone by changing your answers frequently
N. If none of the above seem to work, be creative and come up with something new. But, most importantly, let all problems fly by. Because you're perfect and nobody else matters. >:-)

Hope you enjoyed this post and haven't taken it too seriously. I purposefully pointed out extreme cases, that you may have or are facing or may never experience.


xoxo
WildRose

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